We’re a unique team stranded in a tiny desert town called Tucson, Arizona. It’s true we are surrounded by cactus and tumbleweeds. If you want some, just mention it in your order comments and Ernie will include a piece free of charge. NOTICE: You’re entirely responsible if the cactus hurts you. We didn’t make it angry, you did.
Q. When will my order ship?
A. It probably already shipped.
Q. When will my order arrive?
A. It probably already arrived. If it hasn’t, check tomorrow at about this time.
All sales are final. We don’t accept returns unless there’s a *very* special reason, or you’re a *very* special person. Even then, you must include a short poem or essay about your day, or what your pet is thinking right at this moment before we consider accepting a return.
If you insist, just shoot us an electronic mail to firstname.lastname@example.org
We promise not to partake in spammy activities. We find it highly annoying when others do it to us, so we won’t do it to you.